Shidduchim crisis? Or Hashems goodness?

Amongst the many benefits Bitachon brings is the positive attitude it engenders. While it may be common to hear someone say, “I had a terrible day!” or “Things are just not working out for me,” and the like, Bitachon strongly discourages not only such talk, but even such thoughts. Even on a day when he overslept, the computer was down, his oily lunch got all over his fancy suit, and he then came home to discover that his child is in big trouble at school; yes even such a day can't be described as horrible.

According to the perspective of Bitachon in Hashem, all of these situations are Hashem's doings, and Hashem is טבע הטוב להטיב, therefore all happenings for every Yid are essentially good. Every happening of the day is imbued with the perspective that this is a doing of Hashem who is טבע הטוב להטיב, filling the moment with a true and internal שמחה, thus erasing the negative feeling that can emerge. The sum of the day will always be relaxed and tranquil, and the report will always focus on the good events which transpired.

This perspective can be very effective in shidduchim, both in general terms and in particularized terms.

Generally speaking, in shidduchim, people's perspectives can use improvement. Whereas challenges in shidduchim are often referred to as a 'crisis', there are surely more upbeat ways to describe the situation. A crisis means that bad things are transpiring, and while there might be a way to view the situation as bad, Bitachon encourages placing the focus on other areas, as explained earlier.

It's really all about where we choose to put the focus. If it's all about how bad it is, we are probably not thinking about Hashem's goodness, but by focusing on Hashem's 'good nature', the negativity of the challenge will be nonexistent.

There are many potential complexities in shidduchim. The amount of older unmarried individuals in our community is staggering. This situation is a potential for much negativity. That is the easier path, but will simply breed more negativity in this area and in other areas of life. The more difficult path is to choose to focus on the goodness of Hashem, even though it is not always so visible, but ultimately this will lead tomuch better results.

“How?” you may ask, “How does contemplating Hashem's goodness really improve the prevailing difficulties?”

One thing is certain- the Bitachon frame of mind will bring productive thoughts, speech and action which will ultimately bear fruit. The Bitachon contemplation may produce miracles, and it sometimes does, but we shouldn't rely on it. It will definitely steer us in the direction of G-dly goodness, which will no doubt bring good results.

The יצר הרע may receive more permission from Hashem to give us more challenges, but once the Bitachon perspective is in place we willhandle the challenges in the proper way as well.

The application of Bitachon to the more detailed aspects of the שידוך 'crisis' will be addressed in future installments, בעזהי''ת.